Hi Stef,

This week was a nice week.

So on Thursday I had a great show with my pals Glennis McMurray and Mindy Raf, who are hilarious and wonderful ladies.  I know you would have laughed during our show and had a grand time.  So I wish you could have seen that.  Oh, but Glennis wrote songs for each of us and you can look at them here.

This Saturday I went to a club/restaurant I wouldn’t normally go to.  It was super fun but I don’t know if I’ll ever go back.  (I had a very similar response to “Dancer In The Dark”–I liked it, but I was so disturbed I don’t think I’ll ever watch it again.) I totally thought of you because I remembered those times we went to Club KIIS at the Palace.  Is that place still around?  Anyway, the vibe was similar.  There were tons of dudes and only a handful of ladies.  And the collective group of gentlemen created a bouquet of men’s cologne that hung like a musty mist over the club. It was enough to send me back in a mental time machine to the old time dance club days.  Oh the memories.  This guy over here gets it.  I wish you could have participated in the dancing.

Wish You Were Here is a weekly blog posting exchange with my friend Stef who lives in LA.

Winter is here.  I guess it’s been here.  The grey skies turn dark at 5pm now.  It’s only 4pm and it’s already looking like night is fast approaching.  Lucky for me, while I was trolling around on YouTube, I found yet another kitten to lighten my load.

Enjoy sunshine kitten:

I don’t even need to say I told you so. Ronnie (from the Jersey Shore, obviously) totally has Challah bread arms. I didn’t even need this picture to prove it.  Challah!

(Update: I just thought of this while gchatting with my cousin who craved Challah bread after seeing this image.  If Ronnie made Challah bread with his Challah bread arms, it would blow my mind.  I guess that would never happen, but a girl can dream.)

Okay.  If you know me, or you’re getting to know me, you must know this, I am the biggest crier around.  I’ll cry during a movie, even if the movie isn’t sad. I’ll cry when I hear sad news about someone. I’ll cry if the weather changes.  Something will stir up the emotion within me and before I know what hit me, the tears and the snot are running from my face and I’m desperately gasping for air while my eyes puff up and while my dignity runs out the door.  If I’m crying in front of a group of people, I feel it necessary to apologize.  Not everyone is comfortable with someone crying in their presence, or even worse, some people automatically cry if they see someone else crying.

Yesterday I was in a class where we were told to prepare a little talk about someone who inspires us and I had a real hard time thinking about anyone who inspires me in a real way.  It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about why I started down this path of funny making and performing.  Most of the time I’m thinking “Why did I do this?” (panic voice) and not “Why did I do this?” (contemplative voice).  See the difference?  Anyway, I thought and thought, and was convinced everyone in class would bring a spiritual leader to talk about and whatever I chose would be really lame.  Only a person full of spiritual wealth like me would compare their inspiration to other people’s inspiration, right?

So finally I decided to be honest with myself.  One of the main reasons I decided to even try to do this comedy thing was Margaret Cho.  I know, completely on-the-nose obvious.  The Asian female funny lady chooses the Asian female comic.  But what can I say, it’s true.  I remember seeing her show “I’m The One That I Want” in Santa Monica years ago and Margaret Cho herself was taking tickets!  I was one of the first in line in my group and as we neared the front of the line I realized I would have to hand my ticket to Margaret herself and smile or something.  I almost panicked and then very awkwardly handed her my ticket as she smiled and ripped it in two. Really kind of  an anti-climatic meeting, but the show that would follow gave me more than I knew to expect: eyes full of tears, a sore gut from laughing and pure enjoyment.  I couldn’t believe all that she had gone through and what she had actively created for herself on her own terms.  Amazing lady.

Cut to yesterday and my awkward little talk about Margaret Cho.  I started talking about her life hitting a low point,  and somehow my voice quivered.  Hmmn.  Where did that come from?  And then without warning, a whole flood of tears and sobbing.  What? How embarrassing.  And in a room full of strangers too.  When I got home there was news coverage of Tim Tebow, a quarterback from Florida State who cried when his team lost to Alabama.  Seeing this news made me feel less alone.  People made a big deal about this I guess cause men aren’t really allowed to cry and when they do everyone freaks out.  I guess there’s no crying in football…but there should be.  Let the man cry.  Let me cry.  We will be okay.  I have no scientific research to back this up but I bet crying is good for you.  And if it’s not, I know I feel better after a good cry.  So there.

Check out this new music video for the band Plushgun, directed by my friend Ana Veselic. It’s meant to be watched in four screens.  What?  Genius.

(And by the way, I got to be in it!) The link to the vid on the Plushgun website is:

Everyone knows that “The Jersey Shore” is going to be the next big hit!  So, it’s only natural  there will be haters.  It’s hard not to be jealous of all that tanned skin, the gelled hair and muscles, muscles, muscles.  To all the haters, I want to let you know that I’ll keep on loving.

First of all, look at that picture over there of my new TV boyfriend, Mike “The Situation”.  (He calls his rock hard abs “The Situation”, in case you haven’t yet seen the magic that is “The Jersey Shore”.)  In his words he has “mass appeal” and “babies, dogs, hot girls, cougars” love him. He might be getting things mixed up.  I think those are the things he loves. Speaking of things he loves…

In the second episode, “The Situation” and Sammi “Sweetheart”  vibed each other while working at the t-shirt store.  And my boy Mike sells  personalized underwear to random ladies with his “situation”.  I would probably buy underwear from a guy that showed me his abs.  Especially if it was special underwear with iron on letters that spelled out “I love the situation”.  (I’m not going to tell you what I want for Christmas.  I think you already know.  I only hope that the letters would be spaced equally apart.  I’m not a perfectionist or anything.)  I’m also guessing MTV already has the underwear ready to sell just for the holidays.

I felt bad for Mike’s “situation” when his lady, or who he thought was his lady, Sammi “Sweetheart” fell for his friend and roommate Ronnie.  By the way Ronnie is making “Ronnie Juice”.  Who doesn’t love getting drunk on sweet fruit juices and Stoli and maybe even some protein powder?  Sammi! Why would you fall for this guy?  Look at him. Maybe you’re attracted to his arms.  They look like loaves of Challah. Yum.  Anyway, according to the previews for episode 3, Ronnie doesn’t stay faithful to Sammi.  I can’t wait for the next episode!  I’m counting down the days!

I’m about as fashion forward as the next gal (Really not at all.  I wear a lot of greys and black.)  But wow, Leighton Meester, you win.  Apparently she was going to the Poo Pants Parade.  What the?  I guess if you have smoking hot bod and a similarly traffic stopping face (just coined a new term, you’re welcome-traffic stopping face, that’s right), you can wear this.  I mean, it’s not that bad.  If it were darker in that room, she’d look more edgy, less poopy pants.  At least she’s throwing the peace sign out there.  Peace Leighton, peace.

A couple of days ago I was at the supermarket minding my own business.  Actually I was there trying to purchase some healthy vegetables to counteract all the chocolate cake I made and ate.

cake sidebar: That’s right, I made a cake for others, then ate most of it myself, and not for the reasons you think.  The cake turned out    horribly.  I made one cake recipe, the one with 2 cups of sugar that ended up tasting too sweet for me, then tried a different recipe, but I started watching television and forgot all about the cake while it cooked to a crisp.  I ended up baking a chocolate cracker.  Anyway, I put the cakes together to form a sad mediocre cake.  The frosting I made, however was so delicious I ended up eating the leftover cake myself.

Okay, back to the Master of Disguise.  So there I was, exiting the Key Food when I saw the Master of Disguise.  For only 50 cents you too can be a China man, complete with thinning beard and mole or, if you are lucky, you have the chance of getting the little Hitler moustache.  Man, the toys they make for kids today…at the supermarket.  My suggestion to you Key Food is to strategically place the fu manchu next to the Chung King chow mein kit.  That way you can market this kit to the family that is interested in completely embracing the China people culture.  I don’t know where you’d place the Hitler moustache, maybe near the German Chocolate cake mix?  No.  Maybe I shouldn’t plan the mapping of product placement in a supermarket.  I can’t even make a chocolate cake.

Oh but also, maybe this Master of Disguise is a reference to the 2002 film with Dana Carvey where he plays a whole cornucopia of characters.  Remember this?

Hey Stef!

Happy Birthday!  Did you know that you share the same birthday as Woody Allen?  I don’t know how that makes you feel.  I like his films but I guess he has a bit of a shady history.  I’m not sure how I feel.  So maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that.  But at least he’s an interesting fella. But you also share your birthday with Bette Midler.  I don’t know how you feel about that either, but she does have a set of lungs, that Bette and I think she still has a show running in Las Vegas.  We should totally go. (Or maybe we shouldn’t.  I’d rather spend my money on cheese, frankly).  Remember “From A Distance”?  Ha.  I had to put it here.  I just had to.  It’s karaoke, so you can sing along.  If you’ll notice, they don’t put the words up, so you’ll have to look those up separately.  The person who posted this wasn’t thinking of the groups of people who might not know “From A Distance” by heart.  Luckily you know all the words.

But besides that, I hope that this year is a sunny year.  Here’s to you!  And your birth!  (I’m cheers-ing you with an imaginary glass full of fancy champagne)

Happy Birthday!

Hello Stef!

I am so late in posting my ‘wish you were here’, this week.

So today I decided to try to make a chocolate cake from scratch for Thanksgiving.  I know it’s not very Thanksgiving-like, but I decided to give it the ol’ college try. I’ve never used that phrase before, and there I went.

I found it on the Food Network’s site, by the Barefoot Contessa.  I love her.  She’s so happy and just kind of quietly and joyfully making stuff in her kitchen while her husband Jeffrey stops in every once in a while to say hello.  My favorite was when she wanted to recreate their time in a Paris brasserie and she made the same fish dish and even got a French paper for him, Le Monde, I think.  It’s the details I tell you.  The details.  Anyhoozles, I thought I’d try her recipe for chocolate cake.  I can’t tell how it turned out.  It smells great but also so chocolatey and sugary I’m wondering if I messed up somewhere.  2 cups of sugar, really?  Yeeesh!  My teeth cried a little when I poured those two cups into the mixing bowl. I think it’s too much.  What do I know….but I think it was too much.

I’ll tell you how it turns out…if I my teeth don’t fall when I take my first bite.  Wish you were here to give me cake advice.

Happy Thanksgiving my friend!

And for no reason at all…