I can’t help it

18 Sep

Lately I feel like this lady I once met who said “California, I hated it.  Too much sunshine”.

What happened to that giddy feeling I used to get when I was a school girl?  I remember my first Homecoming dance.  I went to with a date!  A real live boy.  I fretted over what to wear and how my hair should be.   I remember that nervous jittery energy I had when I saw my date in his dressed up best walking towards me with a corsage!  A wrist corsage!  

The following year I went to the same lengths to curl and primp and ended up going to homecoming with a blonde boy who didn’t bother purchasing a corsage but claimed to have sewn flowers together and according to his tale, his friend out of embarrassment for him threw it over a fence.  This blonde boy would later go on to moon his class at graduation.  He had a cute blond skater hairdo and a mischievous grin, but ultimately my crush died that night.

Unfortunately this was just a taste of the letdown I would feel in years to come.  My point: I want to go back to that first dance, to that wonder I had when I walked into my first mist created by a fog machine.  Why does it smell like apple shampoo?

Nostalgia seems harmless but I hate how unsatisfied I feel after.  It’s like when I ate that Twix bar a couple days ago.  I was so excited to have that carmel. That cookie. That chocolate. I remembered how good Twix tasted in the past. I ate the two bars within a minute, might I add without assistance and felt that sugar rush.  A bit later my tummy hurt a and I felt sleepy.

Oh you! Memories, why must you deceive me?

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