Listen, there is this other news item in the headlines that I won’t mention by name, but I find myself obsessed with, and I can’t take it any more, so I’ve decided to discuss, with myself another very current topic: Men and their eyebrows.
Please enjoy my circuitous thinking.
So according to an article I read, British men have recently taken to getting their eyebrows groomed! Oh no! Hey England, get ready for some trouble. Looks like your Gents are slowly becoming Guidos. Oh the horror!
We’ve enjoyed our Guidos here in America for a long time. I know Vanilla Ice isn’t a Guido, nor has he styled his eyebrows like a lady, but he did, years ago take to adding little lines in his eyebrows. I suppose that’s more a hip hop thing or something. I was a kid back in those days when this was going on, but even then I didn’t understand what was up with the men’s eyebrow fashions. Let me just be straight here. I don’t like eyebrow grooming on the men so much. I mean sometimes some guys need a little grooming cause otherwise they’d have two caterpillars on their hands, or rather above their eyes. Look at the little Joe Jonas for instance:
He’s cute but if he let those puppies completely grow on their own he’d look like this guy:
Don’t get me wrong, I love the Levy, and his eyebrows are high-larious (sorry). But I’d understand why a kid like Joe Jonas might want to groom them. (I guess Levy’s eyebrows look kind of groomed too, but somehow his eyebrows look fuzzier, no? I have no idea.)
Do I have a point here? I am not sure. I guess what I’m saying is, listen Great Britain, just be careful with this male eyebrow grooming business. Take it easy. I mean what do I know? I have a fuzzy upper lip and forget to shave my legs all the time. But this is why I like men. They’re always a little less groomed than I am and I like that. Compared to most men I take more showers, get my hair cut more often, own more beauty products and otherwise seem a little bit more well kept. Stop trying to take my glory, you over groomed men!