If this makes me a criminal, arrest me now officer. I just grossed myself out. Anyway, point is, remember the film “The Cutting Edge”? Remember that? Where Moira Kelly plays this ice princess (literally!) and her partner drops her cause she’s a brat or something and then her coach gets D.B. Sweeney, a hockey player, of all things to be her partner and then, wait for it, they FALL IN LOVE! and then they master this nutso move where he basically throws her across the ice and she somehow lands on her feet. What a move! Anyhow, I remember watching it and crying. What? Well for one thing, I was premenstrual, so. And as I’ve said before, I just cry a lot. I leak tears daily. Not true, but not far from the truth.
Anyways, omigod it’s time for the Winter Olympics! I’m sure you’re well aware and you saw the opening ceremony and the lighting of the torch and you’ve gotten accustomed to seeing Bob Costas and his old timey suit and tie and all the inspirational back stories of where people came from and how hard they work and how they have no friends because they just skate all day. I remember I went ice skating for the first time with the Girl Scouts and we had to bring an outfit to wear to ice skate. Other mothers packed jeans and a t-shirt. My mother packed a white leotard and tights. She thought I was going to do some serious figure skating, Peggy Flemming style. Is that an old reference? Anyway, it was horrifying.
Okay so my real point is, I can’t wait for the ice skating portion of the Olympics. I especially can’t wait to see what Johnny Weir will be wearing. Apparently he tried to rent a hotel for the Olympics so he wouldn’t have to stay with the other dirty athletes. But because he is being hounded by animal rights activists for wearing fur in his costume, he was forced to live in the Olympic Village like everyone else because the security there is better. Go figure skaters.