I’ll admit one thing. I never know any of the Olympians going into the Winter Olympics. That’s right, I said it. I don’t know everything. Luckily NBC takes some time to give us some background on the Olympians with those really good recaps on people’s lives. Anyway, all the talk today about men’s figure skating is athleticism vs. artistry (to steal the Wall Street Journal’s headline). Plushenko is killing with his quadruple jump but people argue he lacks the grace and style of other skaters. That’s Plushenko there with the victory fist. He really is pulling off that outfit. When I was a kid, I didn’t like watching men in ballet because they had that extra bump of stuff with their hoo hoo and it bothered me. Now I’m fine with it. I don’t know if there’s anything Freudian about that. Probably not. I just thought they should find a way to tuck it. Call me a jerk. Okay I’ve gotten off track.
The point is, everyone is talking about Johnny Weir but he only placed 6th after the short program last night and it made me wonder if all the other skaters are like, “Seriously, Weir? We’re skating our asses off here and Weir gets his own show on Sundance and people talk about him and that fox fur and we’re skating circles around him”. Who knows what other people are thinking, but last night he skated really beautifully in his black and pink number. Oh, but guys there’s another American skater I hadn’t heard of, Evan Lysacek, who was so adorable in his feathered outfit and he really skated the hell out of his program. Why haven’t I heard of him? I guess cause Weir says all kinds of funny things, like that he likes being a housewife and people love that kind of thing, plus his name is Johnny Weir, and that’s a really easy name to remember whereas Evan Lysacek is difficult to remember and spell. I don’t know how popularity works, clearly.
Like when I was in the fifth grade. Everything relates to when I was in fifth grade. I was in my prime. SO, we had these brain teaser puzzles we had to solve and we broke into teams of four to figure them out. I was pretty good at these teasers and every team I was on won. That’s right, I was smart when I was ten and everything went downhill from there. Anyway, my friend/mortal enemy Miki was known as the smart kid in our class. She had the best projects and reports. We all knew her mom was doing her homework but anyway, Miki was always the first person chosen for every team. And I was the one bringing home the gold! (wow, look at how I needed validation, even then.) So Evan, I feel your pain. Look at Evan in his little getup with the feathered cuffs. So cute. Maybe men don’t want to be known as cute. I mean, how athletic.