Everyone knows that “The Jersey Shore” is going to be the next big hit! So, it’s only natural there will be haters. It’s hard not to be jealous of all that tanned skin, the gelled hair and muscles, muscles, muscles. To all the haters, I want to let you know that I’ll keep on loving.
First of all, look at that picture over there of my new TV boyfriend, Mike “The Situation”. (He calls his rock hard abs “The Situation”, in case you haven’t yet seen the magic that is “The Jersey Shore”.) In his words he has “mass appeal” and “babies, dogs, hot girls, cougars” love him. He might be getting things mixed up. I think those are the things he loves. Speaking of things he loves…
In the second episode, “The Situation” and Sammi “Sweetheart” vibed each other while working at the t-shirt store. And my boy Mike sells personalized underwear to random ladies with his “situation”. I would probably buy underwear from a guy that showed me his abs. Especially if it was special underwear with iron on letters that spelled out “I love the situation”. (I’m not going to tell you what I want for Christmas. I think you already know. I only hope that the letters would be spaced equally apart. I’m not a perfectionist or anything.) I’m also guessing MTV already has the underwear ready to sell just for the holidays.
I felt bad for Mike’s “situation” when his lady, or who he thought was his lady, Sammi “Sweetheart” fell for his friend and roommate Ronnie. By the way Ronnie is making “Ronnie Juice”. Who doesn’t love getting drunk on sweet fruit juices and Stoli and maybe even some protein powder? Sammi! Why would you fall for this guy? Look at him. Maybe you’re attracted to his arms. They look like loaves of Challah. Yum. Anyway, according to the previews for episode 3, Ronnie doesn’t stay faithful to Sammi. I can’t wait for the next episode! I’m counting down the days!